COURSE OVERVIEW

I. FOUNDATION OF STRONG INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Introductory lecture explains and explores the following points:

1. The human level--charisma, credibility, and trust.

2. The basic formula of all communication:

Communication=selling (a product, an idea, an opinion, or even yourself)

Selling is based on trust

Trust is based on believability

Believability comes by showing an interest in other’s needs.

EXERCISE: Midway through the lecture students are asked to write down the major exchanges of a conversation recently held that were difficult, argumentative, or in some way unsatisfactory. They are then asked how they would have preferred the conversation to go. At the end of the lecture, they use the formula of communication to devise people-centered strategies that would have improved the exchange.

II. THE ESSENTIAL BASICS OF INVOLVED COMMUNICATION

Lecture and demonstration of the following points:

A. Approximate the other person’s general gestures to create a comfort zone.

B. Continually reiterate important points said by the other person in order to ensure understanding.

C. Clarification techniques to further solidify understanding, build trust, and expand the conversation.

D. Active listening skills focused on the other person, not on preparing a self-centered response.

E. Objectively gathering the facts to discern the overall joint goal shared by both parties and then stating positive intent towards the goal to show ultimate alliance, agreement, and cooperation.

EXERCISE: Peel The Onion Interview---Participants divide into pairs. They choose from a list of general conversation-opening questions such as, "What’s your favorite dish?"; "Who is your favorite movie star?"; "What type of book do you enjoy the most?"; and so on. From the initial questions, students each take a turn at asking open-ended questions in order to search details into as many new areas as possible. Each opened-ended question is to be used to open a new door into a new aspect of the person so as to gain personal insights. Students are reminded that the open-ended inquisitive technique helps to:

1. Gather information quickly.

2. Gain enthusiasm from the other person by allowing them to speak from their frame of reference.

3. Create an interpersonal comfort zone.

III. PHYSICALITY AND NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Lecture and demonstration on including physical expressiveness in communication:

A. Visual: gestures, posture, movement, and eye contact.

B. Vocal: tone, volume, pitch, and rhythms of speech.

C. Verbal: the actual choice of words.

EXERCISE: Vocal Variety---Students divide into pairs. Each pair has a list of common phrases. Each phrase has three different sub textual meanings, for instance, “Don’t Go” (a command, please stay, it’s not safe). Each student takes a turn at using vocal variety to express each meaning.

EXERCISE: Making The Mundane Magnificent---Students divide into small groups. Each student takes a turn at describing the directions on how to get out of the building. The directions are exaggerated as much as possible in the following three ways:

1. The word usage is to be as eloquent, descriptive, and flowery as the imagination can muster.

2. Physically, the movements are to be acted out in a broad pantomime fashion.

3. Vocally vary the description to further enhance the creation of something wonderful from something bland.

Students are reminded that dozens of behavioral studies have shown that the visual and vocal aspects of communication are by far the most important. You generate interest by being visually and vocally interesting.

IV. THE KEY TO INFLUENCING OTHERS---MOTIVATION

Opening lecture explores the following points:

1. Unless you show genuine enthusiasm, you cannot generate enthusiasm in others.

2. Commit yourself to your message. This means you’re committing yourself to making sure your listener understands your message (backtracking and qualifying questions come into play).

3. Express a sense of sharing and the belief of the benefits your listener will enjoy. People need to hear positive intent. People don’t change unless there’s a good reason.

4. The basic structure of the motivational speech.

EXERCISE: My Passion Can Be Yours---Students take fifteen minutes to think about one of their favorite social activities or hobbies. They outline the three major benefits and prepare a motivational talk (brief: 3-4 minutes) geared to convince their listeners. Class divides into small groups of three or four and take turns giving their speech, sharing feedback from their fellow students.

V. DIPLOMATIC SKILLS TO SOLVE ANY CONFLICT

Opening lecture introduces students to proactive personality psychology theory that gives interpersonal insights in the following areas:

1. Creating positive intent.

2. Creating collaborative relationships that become synergistic.

3. Developing empathy.

4. Understanding universal human connections (commonality of human desires and needs as a key to communication).

5. Phenominology---accepting the validity of individual viewpoints.

Understanding these points teaches the students how to rise above a conflict and deal with it objectively, creating a calm, solution-oriented interchange. This positive mind-set enhances self-esteem, which in turn further aids the conflict management process.

PART TWO---MAJOR BEHAVIOR TYPES

Students are introduced to the four major universal behavior modes that we all fall into to a greater or lesser degree. Students then participate in a behavioral assessment test that determines what their major temperaments are.

EXERCISE: Managing Different Behavior Types---The class is divided into four groups according to their behavior types. As a group exercise, facilitated by the seminar leader, each group discerns their strengths, weaknesses, how best to relate to them and what they need to do in order to relate best to the other groups. This is a lengthy exercise but is extremely useful in developing interpersonal strength and is often quite lively.

VI. THE FINAL POLISH OF PERSONAL CHARISMA

The instructor reviews the major tools and techniques of interpersonal skill, stressing the following points:

1. Shared interest.

2. Positive intent.

3. Taking the other person’s viewpoint.

EXERCISE: Don’t Speak The Speech, Share The Speech---Each student is given a selection of very brief folktales, morality fables, and humorous educational anecdotes. After each student has chosen their favorite, they are given 15-20 minutes to practice presenting the story, using all the influencing and interpersonal skills learned throughout the workshop in order to deliver its message in the most effective way. Students divide into groups of three and each take a turn, followed by feedback from the other group members. The major goal: to create a sense of sharing where the message is understood and appreciated on the same plane as the speakers.

FINAL SUMMARY

Interpersonal communication strength is the ability to reach out to the other person through validation and recognition, creating an avenue that allows the other person to come to you with trust. Then your message can be delivered with a positive intent that will initiate cooperation from your listener. In order to be understood, you must first seek to understand.