Along the way we discover that others don’t always see things the same way we do. We seem to be in conflict.

Sometimes conflict is disabling, preventing future progress. Sometimes conflict is laughable upon discovering a misunderstanding.

This hands-on seminar provides a number of exercises to help you develop approaches and skills that allow you to move past conflict and work more effectively, both in one-on-one relationships and group situations.

Conflict is in large part the emotional reaction we experience when we think a particular way. The following list outlines some alternative definitions of the components of conflict presented in this seminar. These definitions are presented and practiced in a series of hands-on exercises intended to help you generate new approaches and skills in dealing with conflict.

point of view: a person's particular way of looking at things, their paradigm, their position. Our paradigms are the result of the interaction of our conditioned perceptual skills and reinforced experiences.

conflict: discovery of different points of view.

challenge: an impersonal request to consider an alternative point of view.

shared understanding: an improved understanding of the breadth and depth of an issue as a result of dialogue.

equifinality: the notion that there is not only one way to do something, but rather a number of ways which, successfully supported, will generate an acceptable result. Our goal is to pick a good one, and deliberately make it a success.

dialogue vs. discussion: Team members actively listen to understand others' points of view, and speak to describe their point of view while working to build a shared understanding. Dialogue can describe the kind of conversation which builds a synergistic new and better understanding of an issue. Discussion describes the kind of conversation which only presents and compares current points of view.

contribution vs. participation: Team members contribute to building team decisions when they actively listen to understand others' points of view, and speak to describe their point of view while owning being responsible for ending with a decision they will actively support. Team members who participate only attend meetings and are happy when the team makes a decision they can live with.

insights: the "ah ha's" which occur often in dialogue when we begin to see either an old or new issue in a different way. This new way of looking at things often frees us to respect and incorporate others' points of view for ourselves.

disagree but commit: Occasionally, a team member will not come to see an issue as the team does, even after numerous presentations of data. We can optimize the impact of this team by asking this team member to accept they do not agree with the team on this issue, but fully support the decision of the team while registering their own position. And actively support, not just "live with".

tools: Productive dialogue requires the presentation of different points of view and substantiation with data when possible. Tools allow the team to physically place the issue out in front of the group, while minimizing distracting personality issues. Tools help teams build and support great decisions.

"Conflict is definitely a growth industry ." Roger Fisher – Harvard Negotiation Project and Getting to Yes

Seminar Outline 

   1.      Introduction: Seminar overview. goals, introductions, assumptions, ground rules 

2.        Types of Conflict:  political, interpersonal, intra-personal 

   3.      Why People Argue: Discuss and compare the causes of conflict; intra-personal considerations; role of diversity; use of analysis tools (DISC, Myers Briggs, etc) 

   4.      Interpersonal Conflict: Consider role of thinking style and attitude; consider historical models of conflict resolution and their success; introduce and practice a model to organize contributing factors 

   5.      Interpersonal Conflict – Resolution Techniques: Roger Fisher’s 5 Step Process (a. separate people from problem, b. focus on interests, not position, c. invent options, d. rely on objective criteria and data, e. develop back up alternatives before starting conversation). This section is supported by a series of techniques to exercise each of these steps, including role plays. 

   6.      Group Conflict: Consider role of thinking style and attitude; consider historical models of conflict resolution and their success. 

   7.      Group Conflict – Resolution Techniques: The next page outlines a series of steps to help groups move past conflict and build consensus. Each step is supported by a series of techniques students will practice and evaluate; we will select techniques from the chart that are most appropriate to your organization. 

   8.      Organizational and Culture Considerations; a presentation by your company’s legal department outlining do’s and don’ts in dealing with conflict in your company 

   9.      Organization-wide Opportunities to Reduce Conflict: Building a culture which proactively promotes open communication. 

   10.    Next Steps:  Plan for your successful implementation of this new thinking